The South Eastern Conference. The best of the best in college football. The rowdiest of the rowdy fan bases (bad-mouthing Bear Bryant to an Alabama fan can get you shot-and it can happen before said fan even has his bacon and eggs for breakfast). The baddest of all who barbeque (All hail the state of Mississippi). 3 of the last 4 college football champions have resided from this conference. Listen to Kirk Herbstreit for 2 minutes, and he will tell you that night SEC games are just a different level of football (speed, speed, defense, more speed) than what the rest of the college football is playing. Half of the top 10 teams in the preseason polls will be SEC. Ditto for the real polls at the end of the season. Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and LSU all have as good a shot to win the national championship as anybody. All of that, plus the best are recruits from the south.

And if that wasn’t enough, the whole country will now get an overload of SEC propaganda due to their recent contract with ESPN (SEC games everywhere, oh my!):

“The 2009 season marks the beginning of a new 15-year, $2.25 billion contract with ESPN, which coincides with a 15-year, $825 million deal with CBS.”

In this strange and frightening world, Notre Dame may no longer be the only team available on every television set.

(Read this Stewart Mandel article for more info.) Basically, it’s the rich getting richer. It’s like once only being able to get Absolut Vodka at liquor stores, and now being able to buy at any Kroger you walk into.

But, if the SEC was smarter and really wanted to make some money for their conference, why not make an exclusive channel boasting the girls of the SEC (the highest quality that there is)-pillow fighting, mud wrestling (or hell, just standing around) for all to watch. Then, they really could take over the world.

You might cut off your own foot to watch an SEC girl like this

For a month-and-a-half, college football analysts will ask what they think are the important questions leading up to this college football season. Examples are: How will (so and so) replace their entire offensive line? How will (fill in the blank) operate with a new starting quarterback? Can (said team) replace the 10 starters that were drafted, and still compete for the (whatever conference) title? At Notre Dame, the questions revolve around Jimmy Clausen and the offensive line.

But, there is only one real question that an Irish fan must answer. It is a question involving 2 choices, and you can only enjoy one of them at the expense of the other.

Would you rather win a national championship this year, or have a one night stand with:

Uber Hottie Megan Fox

Which would you choose? (And please, stop touching yourself at the computer right now!)

Watching a pretty girl bust out of her tight-fitting clothes is one of life’s greatest treasures. Nothing can put a smile on your face faster. It is the type of moment that turns you 15 all over again, making you tug at your buddy’s arm so he can see too, or take a picture with your phone, or make you run a red light, or cause you to smash your index finger and thumb with a hammer at work.

So I give you one time hottest girl on the planet Jessica Simpson, busting out of her top. And I ask, what Notre Dame player can we expect to bust out this season?

Kapron Lewis-Moore?
Steve Filer?
Sam Young?
Trevor Robinson?
John Goodman?
Deion Walker?
Gary Gray?
Jonas Gray?
Duval Kamara?

What do you guys think?