(Note: I know articles have been recruiting heavy, but that is what is going on for Notre Dame until February.)

Brian Kelly is getting his introduction into big time college football recruiting as we speak. Trying to make his message stick over the likes of guys like Nick Saban-who would probably devour his own young to sign the next Tim Tebow. (In other words, he’s not in the non-competitive world of Kansas anymore, battling the likes of, well, Kansas for a recruit’s services.)

Recruiting is a dog eat dog world, and there are numerous challenges when going against the big boys.

For example:

Battling the new recruiting king, Lane Kiffin-who basically has a Stephen Hawking-like genius when it comes to understanding the whims of young men, and how to recruit them. Long has it been known that recruits can be enticed by beautiful women to campus. Beautiful naked women. Beautiful naked women that will serve pleasure for no cost at all, all night long. (Heretofore known as the Jesus Shuttlesworth Treatment.) But, evil genius Lane took it even a step further. He didn’t even wait to get the recruits on campus. He sent beautiful women to the high schools of the recruits he coveted, in order to get them acquainted. Throwing ridiculously hot women (the kind of hot these kids probably haven’t seen before) into the laps of these kids when they are 16 and 17 years old-how could they say no to this?

Come to UT, boys!

Is Kelly ready for the battle?

I still hear the talk of people that think Urban Meyer may want to leave Florida for ND.

Really, people?

It won’t happen. Not in a week, not in a month, not in a year, not in twenty years. Not because the SEC is tough. Not because evil-genius Saban just whipped him. Not because Tim Tebow is moving on.

Because for all those negatives I mentioned, there is a way to overcome them.

Recruiting. Florida has all the players Meyer needs right at his doorstep. And Meyer has his ways to them (versus the challenges of recruiting at ND).

Let me illustrate.

What to talk about on a recruiting trip to Florida:

“Come here, score some touchdowns on Saturdays, get in on this action, and have fun on your way to the NFL.”

What to talk about on a recruiting trip to ND:

“Get your degree son.”

Now imagine yourself as a know-it-all 18-year old that has no doubt you’re going to play in the NFL. You think class is okay, buy you’re not a huge fan. Which option are you going to pick?

Being in the running for 3 out of the last 4 national championships says that the kids are picking Florida’s message. Attracting teenage football players to that school is akin to selling a sprinkled-doughnut to Homer Simpson.

That’s why Meyer didn’t head to South Bend in 2004, and why he isn’t leaving Florida now. It’s also why ND is still searching for answers.

The South Eastern Conference. The best of the best in college football. The rowdiest of the rowdy fan bases (bad-mouthing Bear Bryant to an Alabama fan can get you shot-and it can happen before said fan even has his bacon and eggs for breakfast). The baddest of all who barbeque (All hail the state of Mississippi). 3 of the last 4 college football champions have resided from this conference. Listen to Kirk Herbstreit for 2 minutes, and he will tell you that night SEC games are just a different level of football (speed, speed, defense, more speed) than what the rest of the college football is playing. Half of the top 10 teams in the preseason polls will be SEC. Ditto for the real polls at the end of the season. Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and LSU all have as good a shot to win the national championship as anybody. All of that, plus the best are recruits from the south.

And if that wasn’t enough, the whole country will now get an overload of SEC propaganda due to their recent contract with ESPN (SEC games everywhere, oh my!):

“The 2009 season marks the beginning of a new 15-year, $2.25 billion contract with ESPN, which coincides with a 15-year, $825 million deal with CBS.”

In this strange and frightening world, Notre Dame may no longer be the only team available on every television set.

(Read this Stewart Mandel article for more info.) Basically, it’s the rich getting richer. It’s like once only being able to get Absolut Vodka at liquor stores, and now being able to buy at any Kroger you walk into.

But, if the SEC was smarter and really wanted to make some money for their conference, why not make an exclusive channel boasting the girls of the SEC (the highest quality that there is)-pillow fighting, mud wrestling (or hell, just standing around) for all to watch. Then, they really could take over the world.

You might cut off your own foot to watch an SEC girl like this