Brian Kelly is done with his first official recruiting class at Notre Dame. What to think of it, though?

Well, he not in Heaven, but he’s not exactly in Hell, either. He’s not great, but he’s not horrible. He’s stuck in the middle. We call it Purgatory. You know, the Griffin’s favorite family vacation spot?

Family Guy (Scene 3, Take 1)

[Picture an over-sized, immature, womanizing, fat guy with a white button-down, sitting with a pretty attractive redhead, with a slender figure, but pointed-nose, and a dog that looks like Snoopy. Aaand here we go!]

Lois Griffin: So, Peter, where shall we go for your week off?
Peter Griffin: Well, I… I was thinking we could all go to Purgatory like we did last year!
[it switches to the Griffins floating in front of a plain white background]
Lois Griffin: This isn’t bad… it’s not that good, but y’know… it’s not that bad.
Brian Griffin: It’s so-so.
Peter Griffin: Yeah… more or less…

There were some nice gets. Matt James (top 100 recruit) at offensive line. Christian Lombard (Parade All-America) also on the offensive line. The NFL-sized Andrew Hendrix at quarterback (the big, bad Florida Gators tried to get him), the speedy Tailer Jones (an ND legacy) at WR. The man-child, 360 degree-dunking Louis Nix to man the middle of the defensive line.

There were some guys that might turn into players in a few years. Danny Spond (is he a duel-threat qb, safety, or linebacker?). The athletic linebacker/defensive end combo of Prince Shembo, and Kendall Moore. Tate Nichols, a decent tight end who could develop into a very athletic book-end tackle. The 6-4 redzone threat of Daniel Smith at wide receiver. Austin Collinsworth could be a diamond in the rough (NFL genes, his dad was a star for the Bengals in the ’80’s).

Then, there were some “what the’s?!”. Tommy Rees (eat some spinach so you can throw it twenty yards, kid). Bruce Heggie, who did not get offered by another single, solitary Division 1A program. Not even a Buffalo. Chris Badger, yet another Irish safety who will have to survive on instincts rather than athleticism (Rudy is a great movie, but that doesn’t mean you have to recruit him every year. He just graduated again, and his name was Kyle McCarthy.)

In summation, some good, some bad. Nothing that make you just want to shout Isley Brother’s-style, but nothing that makes you to hang around Lydia Deets, either.

Should Kelly be commended for keeping this class together after the coaching change, and having such a short time to develop relationships? Maybe. But Lane Kiffin joined USC even later, kept together a consensus top 10 class, and even lured Seantrel Henderson away at the last minute.

Can Kelly win with a class that’s a consensus top 20 (which his was)? Well, he won with the equivalent of a rubber band, copper wire, and aluminum from an old Pepsi can at UC, so it’s hard to think that he wouldn’t.

But, win at what level? the stakes at Notre Dame are higher, and at ND it’s national championship or bust. That means standing toe-to-toe with the USC’s Alabama’s and Florida’s (who just signed a video game amount of 4-star recruits, like 22) of the world. These schools get the perceived best players in high school, and are always in the conversation for the championship. Can Kelly do that with the type of class he signed today, or would they just be a really good 10 win/BCS game type of team.

My guess is an “in the BCS conversation” type of team, but a notch or two below the Florida’s of the world.

So, perhaps the best thing about today, is that Brian Kelly knows he is in Purgatory. That he got a “good start”, but must do better. That he plans to build relationships, and make a bigger splash in next year’s recruiting cycle. Because with the way the other power programs are recruiting (rich getting richer), he’s gonna have to.

This message isn’t for the faint-hearted. It is a dog-eat-dog world where winners claw their way to the top, and trample anyone who gets in their way. People will steal money, food, ideas, music, bases, or anything else to to get what they want. For example, Rip Torn (”if you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!”) just tried to rob a bank to pay for his booze habits, Aladdin stole bread to survive until a genie taught him he was a diamond in the rough-and had what it took to marry a princess, Ray Kroc took the idea of a family hamburger stand-and turned it into a fast food empire, Napster stole music, and Rickey Henderson stole bases for fame-lots of ‘em.

I bring this up because all the experts believe that the country’s best offensive lineman, Seantrel Henderson, is Ohio State bound on National Signing Day tomorrow. The Irish have a narrow chance (Henderson has Irish ties-he went to the same school as current ND standout Michael Floyd), but it does not seem like it will be enough to get him away from The Vest. Oh, and Notre Dame needs him, too. They haven’t had a dominant offensive lineman in ages. Seantrel is bigger than Bill Gates’s house, allows more fella’s to score than Heidi Fleiss did, and has the athleticism to throw down dunks with the Harlem Globetrotters.

So, Brian Kelly needs to do what is necessary in getting Seantrel to South Bend. Even if it means hiring Jack Bauer for a black ops mission to take out Tressel with rubber bullets, drug Seantrel, pack him up in a van, and drive his ass to Irish Town.

It would go down as one of the great steals of all time, just like these:

The Office. American comedy at its best. Except for the fact that it originated as a British show. Complete with ugly actors (British Pam and Jim aren’t nearly the cute couple), and hard to understand accents. The British version has its moments (naked blow-up doll and dirty toys at work), but not quite the charm of the version Americans stole, and made their own.

Vladimir Putin. The Russian Prime Minister had always dreamed of winning a Super Bowl Ring as a star receiver for the San Francisco 49ers (Jerry Rice had nothing on him). Slick uniforms, good history, and the most delicious Sourdough bread. He got involved in the politic thing instead, so when he took the opportunity to meet New England Patriot owner Robert Kraft, he just stole his ring, instead.

Hayden Wright. A four year old would-be Jesse James. The young Tennessean got into dad’s cooler, grabbed a beer, and went Grinch-style on his next door neighbors, and took their Christmas presents.

Alexander Graham-Bell. The inventor of the telephone. Or more precisely, the guy who was second in line on the idea, but was fortunate enough to work at the very same Western Union Lab that the original inventor sent the original plans to prove the telephone was his idea (he did not have the money to renew the patent, and wanted to sue). Somehow, the plans were lost.

Vincenzo Peruggia. An employee at the Musée du Louvre in Paris, who thought the Mona Lisa belonged to Italy (it’s creator, Leonardo, was a son of Italy, after all). That, plus he wanted his friend who sold copies of it to benefit from the original’s disappearance. He hid in a closet of the museum after hours, and walked right out of the Louvre with the world’s most famous painting hidden under his coat.

(Stories come from Mental Floss, Cracked.com, and good ‘ole Google searching.)

Just a few short days away from when college studs sign their letters of intent.

It can be a day of hype and celebration when your school signs the #1 class, the first moment where fans can start believing anew, and begin to predict multiple national championships for the next four years.

It can also be a day of disappointment and dreariness if your school doesn’t get many big-name studs to pledge their names.

Notre Dame has been on both sides before. I prefer the former situation over the latter, but it should be noted that neither result leads to a sure thing on the field. (Celebrated classes sometimes fail, and unheralded classes sometimes go on to great success).

I will try to keep that train of thought on NSD, because the Irish won’t have a stellar class (they only have one or two big names as it is, and it seems there is only a possibility to add one more-Cincinnati offensive lineman Matt James), and doubt will begin to seep in.

But, I will stay positive, and only think pure, happy, and innocent thoughts-because the power of the mind can transform thoughts into unbelievable outcomes.

Of course, the last time I tried that, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man almost destroyed New York City.

Look Out!