It’s All In The Excuses
August 9th, 2010 . by adamnThe best part about people getting caught behaving badly?
The excuses.
People love to blame something else for their eff-ups. It’s never their fault, or their bad choice, or that they knew they were doing the wrong thing, it is always a “misunderstanding”, or an external circumstance.
However, it is unbelievably fun to hear the b.s. that these excuses are spew out of the guilty party’s mouth. I once read a story where a man tried to explain cheating by saying he was trying to help a lady who had fallen down, but then he slipped too, and “accidentally penetrated her”. He tried to get up, but continued to “slip back down” on the spill that caused the woman to fall in the first place. Love it.
In the honor of those who have made the excuses, especially Houston Texan star, and excuse stalwart Brian Cushing, here are some of the best:
“My dog ate my homework.” (A classic.)
“I need to be on birth control because my cramps are too painful.” (C’mon ladies, you can do better.)
“It’s over-trained athlete syndrome.” (No Brian, you love to juice.)
“I can’t get the money.” (So, get a job.)
“I didn’t inhale.” (Oh Bill, you didn’t inhale once. You inhaled multiple times.)
“My high B.A.C. is due to using an alcohol-based hand sanitizer.” (Fossella could at least have said it was cough syrup. At least that is consumed into the body.
“I bit her because I was suffering a low sugar-level from not eating my Mars bars.” (Bet Marv Albert wished he would have thought of that.)
Good stuff. All good stuff.