Lesean McCoy may be the best back the Irish face all season.  More explosive than Ringer, and stronger than Joe McKnight.  That and the fact that Notre Dame does not have a strong defensive line has left me wandering how in the hell we are gonna stop this guy.  My best guesses:

5.) Stacking The Deck.  That’s right, lets sneak in some guys that can actually be disruptive on the defensive line.  My pick: The New York Giants defensive front four.  Tuck, Kiwanuka, Fred Robbins and co. wreak havoc in the NFL, and I think Justin Tuck has one more year of eligibility–so it’s not cheating in the Montgomery Burns sense.

4.)  Sic The Lawyers On Him.  I’m sure he is a good kid, but McCoy crossed the line when he took on “shady” as a nickname.  Even in the digital age, such a blatant disregard for copyrights makes me queasy.  After all, “shady” is the given name to Eminem’s record label, and we know that little baby could fuss and sue over that.  Not even McCoy can outrun an attorney.

3.)  Be Like Tonya Harding.  When in doubt, resort to straight out thuggery–and try to take out your opponent.  Yes, we should always remember history to fuel our great ideas in the present.  So if you Irish fans are listening, consider giving this guy a whack in the kneecap.

2.)  Batter Him With Basic Reasoning.  Lesean had some trouble with his SAT’s and the Irish should take advantage of his possible fragile mental psyche.  Maurice Crum could shout out things like ” In a class of 78 students 41 are taking French, 22 are taking German and 9 students are taking both French and German. How many students are not enrolled in either course?”  His head would be spinning so hard he would not know which blocks to follow.

1.)  Abandon The ND Defense Entirely.  That’s right.  Jimmy Clausen needs to be as accurate as First Response pregancy tests, and lead the offense on time consuming drives (like the whole quarter).  Then, after a score it’s time for an onside kick baby!  ND can recover it every single time, right?

Another game in the books.  Not overly impressed with the Irish, but this was the first time in awhile that they could play an average game and still thump the other team.  My thoughts:

The Good

Michael Floyd continues to impress.  Loved his touchdown when he showed some run-after-the-catch ability.  He can do it all, run, catch, jump, and he even councils troubled defensive backs after he burns them.  Dial 1-800-Sorry-I-Burnt-You, and he’ll show you some words of encouragement fellas.

Running game is showing strides.  Part of that is due to Washington, but Armando Allen and James Aldridge are more decisive than I have seen them.

The defense repelled the Washington O in much the same way the that Comic-Con guys repel the ladies.  Neither are getting close to the endzone.

Clausen’s arm strength.  Matthew Stafford leads the nation giving out free end-of-a-football tattoos to his receiver’s chests, but Clausen is close.  He can make any throw.

The Bad

ND won handidly, but left plenty of points on the field.  They were sloppy enough that an average team would have given them trouble.

Clausen’s accuracy.  The most off I’ve seen him this year.  He needs to get back in the groove for Pitt, becuse ND needs to keep the ball out of Lesean McCoy’s hands.

Hard to tell whether the ND trouble spots (running, defense) have improved or that is just the “Playing Washington Weekly Bonus.”

The Ugly

Ty Willingham’s “How to Recruit Players That Even Rivals.Com Hasn’t Heard OF” on DVD just in time for the holidays.  This is the funniest stand up comedy since Eddie Murphy’s Delerious.

It would be miserable beyond belief to give Willingham and Washington their moment in the sun on Saturday.  So bad that I have come up with 10 horrible scenarios that I would rather have happen (wouldn’t wish this list on anybody) to me that watch the Irish lose to Ty.  Here we go.

10.) Piss myself in public (like when chatting up a hottie.)

9.) Walking in on my parents having sex.  (Nuff Said.)

8.) Get my toe smashed in oblivion by a mallet like Mel Gibson in Payback.

7.) See Charlie Weis naked.

6.) Get tortured by Jack Bauer when he’s looking for a nuclear bomb gone astray.

5.) Have the gas prices go up another dollar/gallon.

4.) Get caught having “alone time” by my dad, mom, and older sister (actually happened to a friend).

3.) Sit through and watch The Notebook every weekend without a girlfriend.  Yep, just a dude sitting and watching a chick flick, eating peanut butter ice cream and complaining that my ass is getting fatter.

2.) Get Tea-Bagged.

…And Finally

1.) Having to look at Megan Fox naked every day (until she gets old) and never, ever, being able to play with  her lady parts.