Now, that…is a cute Heisman campaign.

Hey, give them credit, Northwestern is doing their job. They are backing their guy, and promoting the visibility of their football program with the “Persa Strong” Heisman campaign. The school sent out purple Northwestern football “kits” to media members, each containing seven lb dumbbells touting the school’s favorite #7-quarterback Dan Persa. It’s their way of saying, pound-for-pound; Persa is the best player in America (not true, but puffery is needed in a good promotion). Or maybe, it’s Northwestern’s way of getting better paper weights into offices across America, or possibly even cleverly providing a distraction so the media can’t write so many dick articles (”Dude, I will pay you 20 bucks if you start busting out some shoulder-presses, and drop one of those weights in Fred’s crotch, that asshole forgot my burger when he went on the lunch run last week.”) in a given week.

Anyway, this campaign speaks to the importance of being visible, and I can also tie it into the great advantage of going to Notre Dame. If you aren’t visible, work to make yourself visible. However, Notre Dame is the most visible college football program in America. Do you know how they run a Heisman campaign? “Son, come here and put on this gold helmet real quick.”

With the stir that Brian Kelly is creating in the program, perhaps the point above is why ESPN recruiting analyst Tom Luginbill (talking about ND’s future) recently said, “It’ll be, ‘Katy bar the Door’, I’m telling you right now.” That means, “trouble’s brewing”. For schools that aren’t Notre Dame.

It’s August, and you can start to smell the college football season in the air. And it smells so sweet. Sweet enough that you start losing your “employee of the week” parking space to a different Oompa Loompa every day, and your thinking “‘Where the hell did all these Oompa Loompas come from, and am I going to have to go Legarrette Blount on one of ‘em to show that they can’t mess with my parking space?”, and then you suddenly remember they all are here because of the previously mentioned sweetness in the air due to college football. So, you can’t be mad. The little guys can’t help it. Sweetness is their catnip.

Anyway, college football is almost here, and each conference has their Media Days to give a sort of preseason “state of the union” address. The Blarney has scoured the notes for you, and is giving you the rundown. I’ve already checked in on the SEC, ACC, Big 12, Pac-12, and Big East, but it’s time to give the heads up on the last one before it’s Irish time tomorrow. Here, the Big Ten is up (the highlights, at least). This conference joins the Pac-12 as most interesting, due to the number of traditional ND rivals.

In the words of Budweiser: Here. We. Go!

The Big Ten

Ohio State. So…no sweater vests in Buckeye land this year. Hell, they say fashion is cyclical anyway. Defensive coordinator Luke Fickell takes over, and the Buckeyes have enough talent to win 9 games or so this year. The suspensions hurt, and freshman phenom Braxton Miller will probably be starting at some point after the first few weeks (you ain’t winning with Joe Bauserman at quarterback). Losing Pryor, Posey (for 5 games), and Herron (for 5 games) hurt, but a talented defense (John Simon, Nathan Williams, Andrew Sweat, Etienne Sabino) should keep the Bucks close to what they have been. They will lose two out of three to Michigan state, Nebraska, and Wisconsin, though.

Nebraska. A Taylor Martinez-led spread option attack could take the Big Ten by surprise, and Bo Pelini will reintroduce himself to the conference by unleashing a defense that attacks like spider veins on menopausal women (they’re nasty). Games against Ohio State, Michigan State, and Big Ten-twin Wisconsin will determine whether Big Red belongs.

Michigan. Brady Hoke’s answer to everything is “We’re Michigan.” Like they have capes and giant “M’s” on their chest, and nothing can hurt them. “Coach, why are you taking your entire team the weekend before your opener 3000 ft in the air to go skydiving without any parachutes?” “We’re Michigan.” Yikes. But he does have Denard Robinson, and enough talent to make things interesting. The Irish are in for one of their toughest games of the season when they visit the Big House at night in week 2.

Michigan State. Kirk Cousins, Edwin Baker, Le’veon Bell, and B. J. Cunningham ensure the Spartans can put up points. Add that to a typical Dantonio-toughness, and the coach’s newfound swashbuckler ways (he didn’t learn trick plays from Tressel, that’s for sure), and Michigan State will be a contender in their conference this year, as well as giving the Irish all kinds of fits.

Wisconsin. The Badgers have a filthy offensive line and running game (Montee Ball, James White), then they essentially got a free agent in N.C. State’s Russell Wilson (an athletic and accurate playmaker), perhaps giving them the Big Ten’s best quarterback and offense. Wisconsin will ground and pound (and pound some more), throw the big play-action to Nick Toon, and win a lot of games. They have to be Big Ten favorites.

Penn State. JoePa will be cranky and funny in his usual curmudgeon ways (he could star in a remake of Grumpy Old Men, and it would be a hit today), and Penn State will be solid. If Rob Bolden can play quarterback, they may surprise.

It’s August, and you can start to smell the college football season in the air. And it smells so sweet. Sweet enough that you start losing your “employee of the week” parking space to a different Oompa Loompa every day, and your thinking “‘Where the hell did all these Oompa Loompas come from, and am I going to have to go Legarrette Blount on one of ‘em to show that they can’t mess with my parking space?”, and then you suddenly remember they all are here because of the previously mentioned sweetness in the air due to college football. So, you can’t be mad. The little guys can’t help it. Sweetness is their catnip.

Anyway, college football is almost here, and each conference has their Media Days to give a sort of preseason “state of the union” address. The Blarney has scoured the notes for you, and is giving you the rundown. I’ve already checked in on the SEC, ACC, Big 12, and Pac-12, but it’s time to give the heads up on another. Right now, the Big East is up (the highlights, at least).

In the words of Budweiser: Here. We. Go!

The Big East

Errr…umm…They play football here??