The NFL has wrapped their annual Dog and Pony show. The show to see who the next NFL stars will be. Heights have been measured, weights have been weighed, forties have been run, buffets on top of naked ladies have been trotted out, swords have been swallowed, pyrotechnics have exploded and etched a picture (of gladiators in shoulder pads wrestling 3-headed beasts to the ground) into the night sky. (Hey, the combine is an Event, baby. That’s right, with a capital “E”.)

Players stocks have risen, player stocks have fallen, in large part due to talents that don’t even show themselves on a football field (”Jones, from as complete standstill, jump for that first down now, damnit!”). GM’s have seen these test results-and some (I’m looking in your direction, Al Davis) will fall in love with them, and forget about the three years worth of game film that preceded these showings. In fact, “Arbitrary test results over on-field production” could be the combine’s slogan.

True, the combine is a gathering of more information that might prove to be valuable, and certainly is a measure of athletic ability, but should never overshadow what talent evaluators see when the pads are on. Management should always remember this.

Even knowing this, the fact is that the combine is a huge event, and a means to gain the NFL more exposure in the off-season, so it is here to stay. And, since it is still worth talking about, here are some random combine notes gathered by the Blarney, complete with a deciphered meaning.

Scouts think Jimmy Clausen is “arrogant”.

What it Means:

Maybe he is. So are all great athletes (and any other person who sees themselves as a “player” in their industry). He is also talented, smart, and coachable enough to go from throwing double digit picks in his sophomore year to throwing only three as a junior. I don’t know Jimmy Clausen at all-but “arrogance” is a pretty poor reason to drop him on draft boards.

Ndamukong Suh verticals 35.5″, and runs slightly under 5 seconds.

What it Means:

Again, film is more important. The jumping ability shows lower-body explosiveness, but Suh made his name by tossing around o-lineman like rag dolls.

Tennessee’s Eric Berry runs a 4.4.

What it means:

He comes out aces in film (what he does on the field), and athletic ability. 1st round pick, and future NFL stud, count on it.

USC’s Taylor Mays ( 6-3, and 230lbs, at least), runs a 4.24!! Wait, it’s actually a 4.43. Plus he broad jumps 10′5″.

What it means:

First, why bother with hand-timing? Humans are not accurate in measurement (guys know what I am talking about) in any way. Second, the guy is a stud of an athlete, but he must have also have the TBWA Chiat/Day marketing team behind him to make him look like a machine (reports of a electronically-timed 4.3 40 at USC, as well as a broad jump of almost 11 and a half feet)! Mays doesn’t play as well as he tests (he even got torched by Dane Sanzenbacher), but should last in the NFL for awhile.

4 defensive linemen, including USC’s Everson Griffen, and TCU’s Jerry Hughes, run in the 4.6’s.

That, combined with great (for Hughes) actual game ability, show that this is not your grandfather’s NFL. Defensive lineman really do run like safeties these days.

Florida’s Joe Haden run a 4.57 (that’s almost a 4.6 for a corner, which is slower than some defensive ends).

What it means:

SEC speed?! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! (Pause for breath.) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahaha! Seriously kid, don’t leave your house without your game film, ever.

ND safety Kyle McCarthy places second in shuttle and cone drills, but runs a 4.65.

What it means:

Nothing that we didn’t know already for Kyle. He is a good, but not great athlete, that can certainly do some things on the field. His film will show that he is good enough to be involved in the play, but not good enough to make a play. A Special Teamer, and maybe get on the field in some nickel-type situations.

Look, the combine is great, and we love to see what athletic achievements these kids can accomplish. And I know I just laughed at Joe Haden, but he can still be a good pro (though that bad performance might cost him some dollars). But, the combine is sizzle, and what these kids do when the helmets are on (and the lights are dark in the film room) is the steak that is really needed.

The NFL is about ready to wrap up their annual Dog and Pony show. The show to see who the next NFL stars will be. Heights have been measured, weights have been weighed, forties have been run, swords have been swallowed, pyrotechnics have exploded and etched a picture (of gladiators in shoulder pads wrestling 3-headed beasts to the ground) into the night sky. (Hey, the combine is an Event, baby. That’s right, with a capital “E”.)

Players stocks have risen, player stocks have fallen, in large part due to talents that don’t even show themselves on a football field (”Jones, from as complete standstill, jump for that first down now, damnit!”). GM’s have seen these test results-and some (I’m looking in your direction, Al Davis) will fall in love with them, and forget about the three years worth of game film that preceded these showings. In fact, “Arbitrary test results over on-field production” could be the combine’s slogan.

True, the combine is a gathering of more information that might prove to be valuable, and certainly is a measure of athletic ability, but should never overshadow what talent evaluators see when the pads are on. Management should always remember this.

Even knowing this, the fact is that the combine is a huge event, and a means to gain the NFL more exposure in the off-season, so it is here to stay. And, since it is still worth talking about, here are some random combine notes gathered by the Blarney, complete with a deciphered meaning.

Pitt tight end Dorin Dickerson runs a 4.4, and vertical leaps 42“.

What it means:

This guy will be in the running for “freak awards”. I though only SEC athletes were supposed to boast his kind of athleticism. But for all his athletic prowess, he was still only the third most dangerous weapon on the Pitt roster, behind Dion Lewis, and Jonathan Baldwin. He’ll last a long time in the NFL, but don’t expect stardom out of him.

Clemsons’ C.J. Spiller, Cal’s Jahvid Best, and Fresno State’s Ryan Matthews all run legit 4.4’s (and under).

What it means:

Fast, fast running backs, that have homerun ability. (Also, USC’s Joe McKnight ran a high 4.4, and Stanford’s “Toby the Tank” somehow ran a 4.5 with his huge frame.) That is a nice ability to have, but in the NFL, you have to run between the tackles. Chris Johnson’s 4.24 works because he is more than just speed. I think Toby Gerhart and Spiller have the best chance to be impact pros.

Maryland’s Bruce Campbell, a 300lber plus tackle, ran a 4.8, with a 32″ vertical.

What it means:
I read about this guy once. I think he was called Superman. It’s a bird… it’s a plane… or something like that.

Florida’s Tim Tebow ties quarterback record with a vertical jump of 38.5“.

What it means:

That, as suspected by the Blarney, Tebow has a better chance to win the NBA’s slam-dunk competition than to quarterback in the NFL.

Notre Dame’s Golden Tate runs a 4.4.

What it means:

Not a damn thing. For some reason, draft expert Mel Kiper Jr. thought it would be important to run well due to speed questions (Tate made many of his catches in traffic-he didn’t “separate” from defensive coverage, and this won’t cut it against defensive backs with more ball skills in the NFL.). for Tate, athleticism and speed was never the issue. Separation among great athletes comes from route-running technique. This is exploding out of cuts. This is not slowing down when making breaks or changing direction in the route. This is disguising your route by coming off the line of scrimmage the same way each time (confusing defenders for a split-second). This is the only thing Tate must improve to be a next-level receiver. The 4.4 will probably stop him from slipping too far down in the draft, but if Kiper really thought speed was the issue, than it is possible he has not learned one thing about actual football in the twenty-plus years he has somehow made a career out of scouting players. (Maybe you just need great hair to land the best gigs.)

(These are the thoughts for now, look for part II-coming soon!)

Have you ever seen someone come up with a smart (and sometimes simple) solution that just makes life easier for all involved, and you wonder, why the hell didn’t someone think of that sooner? Like Charles Kettering and the electric starter, for instance.

With all the bright people in the world, real problem-fixing should happen more often.

Here are the Blarney’s 5 current “fixes” that pay homage to that thought.

1.) Notre Dame and a training table. So, even though other schools have been producing bigger, stronger, and faster athletes by the bushel for nearly fifteen years through proper conditioning and nutrition, it took college football’s most well-known program losing to UConn this year to say, “we better do that to”. A UConn team that hasn’t even been a 1-A (okay, FBS) school for a decade, and constantly get out performed in the weight room by their woman’s basketball team (though Geno Auriemma’s girls are truly beasts).

2.) Tim Tebow’s throwing motion. It took his entire college career, and every NFL scout in existence (about the population of Germany), to get Tim to hold the ball up by his shoulder (and keep it there) for a quicker release. He used to like to drop the ball down by his waist (and bringing it back up) before releasing it. To put it another way, if Tebow’s throwing motion was like watching t.v., his old style would be like getting up off the couch, walking to the t.v. to change the channel button, going back to the couch, sitting down, then realizing the volume needed to be higher, getting up, walking to the t.v. to change the volume button, going back to the couch, and sitting down again (whew!). The new adjustments are like picking up the remote from the couch cushion and performing both those tasks with 2 quick touchings of a few buttons.

3.) Toyota tells the truth. The car giant admitting problems with their cars may give a man in jail a second chance at freedom. Evidence may show that the driving accident was indeed caused by the car itself, and not his driving.

4.) Domino’s Pizza. They have a new, better-tasting garlic crust. Everything in the world is now right.

5.) Paying energy bills made easier. Get your heat turned off again because you couldn’t pay your bill? Now there is a smart thermostat that lets you know exactly how much energy you are using-and what it costs. Time to stop being a delinquent.