(Takes a deep breath in the manner of Ace Ventura showing up Lois Einhorn at a crime scene.)

“C’mon, Irish, for the love of God, just beat Navy. They don’t have a single player that could put on a gold helmet, and yeah, I know they give effort, and the option is a bitch to defend, and I understand if they make a game of it for a half because of that, but you are bigger, stronger, and faster, and after that “adjustment period”, you should just be kicking the shit out of them because you have better players in every measurable way. You are so much better, that you won 43 straight against those sailors, I mean, it was pretty much like the Globetrotters versus the Generals-just a game to break a sweat and show off your talents to make the fans happy, because I’ll never understand how beating them like kettledrums every year actually showed “gratitude” for keeping the university open back in the day. But anyway, that’s the way it was, and now all of a sudden they have won three out of four-including an absolute beatdown last year (35-17!), because the Irish defense can’t stop the fullback dive (210 yards last year!), the most basic play in all of football. How many years has football been played? I don’t know, but that’s how long the fullback dive has been around, and Jon Tenuta and Bob Diaco both acted like they have never seen it before. So, Louis Nix, and Stephon Tuitt, and Aaron Lynch; get your big asses moving, and beat your blocks, and tackle the damn fullback, and force the quarterback down the line, and make him pitch, and then Gary Gray or Robert Blanton, or Harrison Smith, tackle the damn tailback, and don’t let him gain 20 yards. Because Navy’s slow and undersized defense can’t cover Michael Floyd, and they can’t catch Cierre Wood, and they can’t tackle Jonas Gray. So offense, score, score, and score some more and hang a half-hundred on these guys, so they can go back to their engineering classes, and get ready to sail on nuclear submarines and protect our freedom. Hang a half-hundred because you should crush the teams that you are better than, just like every other school in America can do, and at some point you have to stop playing down to your competition. Beat the schools you can, because you sure can’t beat USC anymore. Build some damn momentum, and beat some of these lesser opponents you have coming up, and then give Andrew Luck and Stanford a game at the end of the season, so you can show you are on the rise, and get some elite recruits, and keep building the program back, so maybe one day you can beat an elite school again. Because I am tired of breaking in a new coach every couple years, and repeating the cycle, and having the national media cry out how Notre Dame is dead. Because this is how my life as a Notre Dame fan has been, and every time I think the Irish are close to proving the naysayers are wrong, catastrophe strikes, and the media gets to say “I told you so”. And every time they get to do that, another part of me dies, and what’s left behind thinks they may be right.”

The ND-USC game is over, it’s time to move on, and the Irish must get over it to be ready for Navy, a team that worked over Notre Dame pretty good last year. If there is such thing as a “must win”, the Navy game is it. Yes, it’s time to move on, but the Blarney is not quite ready for Navy talk yet, so it will take one last look back on Notre Dame’s most hated rival.

The last words about the 22nd:

-Talk is cheap, unless you can back it up. And Southern Cal has every right to talk. Galippo and Co. can say that ND quit, or whatever else they want to, because they got it done on the field. Football is an emotional, testosterone-filled game, and we wonder why some guys do some Tarzan-like chest beating after a conquest? Please. To an extent (and in a heated moment), Galippo probably believed what he said, so let him say it. It is on ND (or any other team that fails) to not give them a reason to talk. Same philosophy as far as teams “running up the score”. If you don’t want them to, then don’t let them.

-It never ceases to amaze me when teams aren’t ready to play big games. The Irish weren’t, and consequently fell behind 14-0. BK said today, that the vacation week caused them to get away from their disciplined regimen. Okay, lesson learned (keep the team on a tight schedule until they prove they can handle otherwise), but how can elite athletes come out that flat on a competitive stage? I remember an old commercial (Nike or Gatorade), that talked about competition, and it ended by stating something like” And when you look down at your vanquished for, you smile, and think to yourself, “hah, hah, I’m better than youuu”. Why wouldn’t the Irish players dial themselves in to have the opportunity to do this?

-Manti Te’o, less with the kill shot, will ya? You had little Curtis McNeal dead for a loss, but he bounced off your non-form tackle for a huge gain, symbolizing the way The Trojans ran over the defense all night.

-Not bothered that the Irish backs didn’t get more carries. If you can’t establish the run, what good does it do to keep trying, and find yourself down three scores. ND’s flat start dictated that they throw. However, in the future, the Irish need to reverse trends, and use the run game to open up the pass. One of those back will get it done.

-Have you ever heard of 50 recruits at a single game? Many were elite as well. This shows ND still has sway that pundits claim they no longer do, but Irish coaches must continue to be hungry dogs fighting for scraps on the recruiting trail. While those pundits are not entirely correct, it is true that recruiting to ND is harder than ever. And the Irish still need a talent upgrade on defense. A solid class in 2008, one big player in 2009 (Te’o), followed by a great class in 2011 doesn’t cut it when elite schools have great defensive hauls every year. The 2011 class isn’t ready in an every down sense this year, and the failures of previous classed are still evident on Saturdays. If Kelly doesn’t continue to match his 2011 success this year and so on, Notre Dame will continue to lag behind.

The Irish got smacked around by Southern Cal in a fashion that would make even Ndamukong Suh feel bad during their first night game in 21 years. It was an affair that resembled the type of beatings administered by Pete Carroll teams during the early part of the 2000’s for the first half, and an affair that turned into the 2011 Irish’s ability to mimic The Three Stooges (and I used to love slapstick) in the second half.

Here’s What I Think:

1.) I think that the fall of Troy (for this year) was severely overstated. This isn’t 2003-2008 USC by any means, but as I’ve said every time I talked about the Trojans, they have enough to play with just about everyone but the very cream of the crop. It starts with Barkley and Woods, but Marquis Lee, and little Curtis McNeal can also play on offense, and the defense has guys like Nick Perry and T.J. McDonald. I know Mike Mayock is a respected talent evaluator (who thought the Irish had superior talent), but USC certainly didn’t take a backseat to the Irish as far as “the eyeball test”. If anything, their defense seemed to fly around far better than ND’s.

2.) I think the old adage, “speed kills” rang as true as ever on the eve of the 22nd. The new lingo is “take the top off the defense”, but it’s the same thing. Bob Diaco, a “bend but don’t break” coordinator in the first place, was so scared of Robert Woods and Co., that Irish defensive backs must have been playing 7-10 yards back. The reason to do that is if you don’t feel you match up athletically. And, because of this, it was an easy day at the office for Matt Barkley. Even when is should have been difficult, it was easy. Remember when he got hit by Aaron Lynch on one play, and the ball popped into the air so high that you could practically hear the fans from Major League shout “It’s too high! Too high? Who gives a shit, it’s gone!”? Still, the pass was completed, because Gary Gray was back far enough to field a punt. Robert Blanton can cover, no other Irish secondary player can, and ND needs a talent upgrade there immediately. Then, if Diaco gives the same kind coverage, even against talented receivers, fire his ass.

3.) I think that, for the first time, I really want to see an increased package for Andrew Hendrix. Tommy Rees doesn’t deserve the vitriol that he seems to stir among Irish fans, in fact, in the right circumstances, he could be good enough to take the Irish to the cusp of the BCS in the future. You can go pretty far as a quarterback with smarts, accuracy, and lightning-quick release. But, it can’t be denied how far the Irish offense has bogged down when playing somewhat athletic defenses. The Matt Barkley vs Tommy Rees aspect (experience and arm talent) played a huge role in this game. Robert Woods outplayed Mike Floyd, and SC was able to run at will in part because of the threat of the deep passing game. That lies with the Trojans’ talented receivers, but also their triggerman. Well, ND has some receivers that can play as well, but they did not have near the impact that Trojan receivers did. This must fall at the feet of Rees not being able to get it to them. BK said as much when talking about missing Floyd on three or four occasions. He had time to throw, so either he wasn’t reading properly, or just couldn’t get the ball there. I’m leaning toward the latter, so it may be time to increase the role of Hendrix, and let him have a chance to open things up against tougher defenses.

4.) I think that ND players need to perform. I know we aren’t supposed to call out 18-22 year-olds, and everything is the coach’s fault, but, at some point, players make plays. They don’t fumble snaps that are returned 99 yards, they don’t forget to cover a possible lateral, they don’t garner personal fouls when the defense is going to get off the field. They thread the needle, they make one-handed catches, or bowl a defender over to reach the goal line. For all the criticism Kelly is getting for “not having his players ready”, at the end of the day, a coach’s job is to put his players in a position to win. Were the players in that position? Yes. Did they perform? No.

5.) I think I’m gonna be a huge Stanford fan this weekend. If Lane Kiffin can ask David Shaw “What’s your deal?” at game’s end, it will be a good thing.