Brian Kelly had his first press conference of the actual season earlier today, and the Irish are in the midst of preparing for South Florida this Saturday. It is so close to the time where we can see what Kelly’s second edition will actually look like. A march to the BCS, or typical disappointment? Anyway, here a few random thoughts on the program’s status in week 1:

Are they putting too many growth hormones in cafeteria lunches? Look, college football has made a youth movement since scholarship reductions in the mid-nineties, but people still look at it as a big deal when freshman make an impact. Get used to it. If you can play, you can play-even if you’re only 18. So, when the Blarney sees Aaron Lynch, Stephon Tuitt, Ishaq Williams, Davaris Daniels, Nick Martin, and Conor Hanratty on the two-deep, all is good. They won’t need to show their ids to play this game.

A few days before season two starts, Brian Kelly continues to illustrate he knows the ingredients a college football teams need to win. Namely, size, strength, and athleticism in the trenches, and in the linebacking unit. Kelly secured a commit from 6′6, 300lb monster defensive lineman Jarron Jones. A consensus top 100 recruit, Jones is the type of game-changing lineman that the SEC has had a monopoly on, and the biggest reason why SEC schools win the biggest bowl games. Notre Dame’s defense in the coming years will look like nothing we have ever seen in South Bend-while some were great, Holtz’s defenses were not this massive. After years (and years) of Irish coaches striking out on elite defensive lineman like Screech struck out with the ladies (and doing stand-up comedy), the ND staff is quieting criticism that those kind of players won’t come to South Bend. With recruits like Nix, Tuitt, Lynch, Williams, Councell, Niklas, Day, and now Jones, Kelly is either building one of the biggest and baddest defensive lines in the country, or he is auditioning for a chance to coach an expansion team in the NBA.

More and more, I’m thinking Theo Riddick is going to have a 10-touchdown season. Every time I hear BK talk about the offense, there is one constant. He wants to put the ball in Riddick’s hands. Receptions, reverses, kick returns, punt returns, any way he can. You don’t invest in a Porsche 911, and then keep it in the garage-Kelly will get the ball to this playmaker. In the early 2000’s, it took a calendar year (and adjustment season) for playmaker Arnaz Battle to get adjusted from a quarterback-to-receiver role, and it’s been a full calendar year for Riddick now–the Blarney is expecting similar results from a more explosive athlete.

If Dayne has accuracy problems early on, throw it to Eifert. This may be blasphemy, but Tyler will be a better receiving threat than Kyle Rudolph. Write it down.

Offensive line must assert itself early. The Irish have been looking for better offensive line play forever. It appears they have the mix of size and athleticism Kelly wants. Harkening back to the Aaron Taylor-Tim Ruddy days, there are actually All-American candidates on this unit (it’s the only prescription Dr. Lou truly knows). South Florida has enough athletes on defense to let us know where the offensive line really is, but it is not a ‘Bama-type that could overrun Braxston Cave and co. early on, and set a bad tone for the season. Basically, it is a “just right” challenge, with the potential confidence gain that could skyrocket the Irish.

A quick look at those that would harm the Irish in 2011-in the worst ways:

Best Enemy Player: Andrew Luck

ESPN knows it, The Blarney knows it, you know it, people that know nothing about college football (like Craig James) know it. If Mel Kiper was drawing up the perfect NFL quarterback, his spec sheet would still be 10 skills short of what Luck has going for him (Where do you put “runs over defenders like John Riggins”?). Kidding. Sort of. Luck is really, really good. In case you didn’t know, he captained Stanford to an Orange Bowl victory. Let that sink in. (Sitting at a computer for 60 minutes straight without moving kind of sucks, doesn’t it? Snap out of the trance.) Stanford does not win major bowl games–ever. Not even with Elway (who some consider a better NFL quarterback than Joe Montana). Even a (much) improved Irish defense figures to be eaten alive by Luck.

Most Dangerous Enemy Player: Denard Robinson

Luck could be the answer here too, but Robinson gets the edge due to his unpredictability. He’s like a chimpanzee that might rip your face off at the zoo in that way. The Irish defense could bottle him up for three quarters, and then…wham! Shoelace is gone on a 70-yard touchdown run, and Notre Dame is now down with a few minutes left, in the Big House, at night, against a raucous crowd that is breaking the sound barrier with its sonic cries.

Most likely to cause an Irish bloody nose (toughest defender): Luke Kuechly

Boston College’s (and possibly the nation’s) premier linebacker is always ready to tackle (led the nation in stops last year). He racks up tackles like John Stamos racked up leather jackets and vag in the 80’s (yep, I had to include both vices to match Kuechly’s tackles). He is tough, rangy, and ensures that Boston College, as almost always, gives Notre Dame more trouble than they should.

Most likely to cause a shower of Harrison Smith boos: Robert Woods

Everyone loves Harrison Smith at free safety these days. But, for most of his first three years, his play was much more likely to garner boos, as he missed a tackle-after-tackle that would have held an offense to a minimal gain, grabbed a spot on the sofa with some popcorn, and watched yet another receiver haul in a touchdown, or in general, looked like he was trying to learn Chinese. He’s on the up and up these days, but USC’s silky-smooth, fresh-off-the-assembly-line-to-the-NFL-receiver, Robert Woods, could give Harrison a blast from his past.

Most likely to make the Irish defenders feel like crash test dummies: MSU RBs

Not the band. (Though I suppose one would probably rather take a helmet to the sternum rather than live with the pain of once being in that band.) You know how car companies test for safety by ramming car models at highways speeds into fortified objects, while using plastic and metal mannequins? If those guys were actually alive, how bad would they hurt? My guess is they would be addicted to Vicodin. Well, a football game is one crash after another, and the most physical test for Diaco’s troops will be the Michigan State running game. Classic smashmouth football, led by Dantonio’s old-school ways, and repeated bludgeonings by studs like Edwin Baker and Le’Veon Bell.

Toughest Game: At Stanford.

West Coast trip. Palo Alto is a tough place to play even when the Cardinal aren’t great–that how Willingham once tricked the world into thinking he was a quality coach. Add Andrew Luck to the mix, along with the fact that Harbaugh upped the recruiting considerably during his time at the Farm, and the Irish are in for a tough contest. Even the biggest “Domer Homers” are expecting to lose this one.

Craziest Environment: The Big House on Sept. 10th.

NIGHT GAME. PERIOD.

Yep, they’re still really good: USC

Notre Dame has not exorcised the USC demons just yet, and a city should always be worried when the Trojan Horse is at the gates. Matt Barkley will actually play this year (Mustain was, basically, a 10-ton anchor for the offense), and USC still has skill talent and defenders that can stop the Irish offense. The Trojans (if they were eligible), could be good enough to win the Pac-12, and on October 22nd, the Irish might think that Pete Carroll is still on the sidelines.

Biggest Upset Potential: USF

Season openers are unpredictable anyway, and the Bulls have enough speed on defense to make things interesting. If the Irish have trouble scoring, they will have trouble winning. This would be a damning loss with Michigan and Michigan State up next.

Can the Irish make it through these challenges?

The season is four days away. Three-and-a-half months of bliss as the most interesting and exciting regular season in sports does what it does best. Bring us to the edge of our seats–and, for some–to the edge of sanity (ask an Alabama fan). The Blarney is ready! But first, here are 10 predictions for the season upon us.

10 predictions for college football in 2011:

1.) Oregon puts the SEC on notice by beating LSU on Labor Day weekend. It won’t be because of LSU qb Jordan Jefferson’s (and a few ‘mates) absence due to celebrating the end of fall practice by treating a fellow bar hopper like Rodney King (true Americans find no better way than violence to celebrate-must be all that damn television), or because Les Miles wasted a timeout to tell his boys to play back, and not give a chance for the opposition to convert a four-point play, just before realizing he is not coaching the Miami Heat. The Ducks have more playmakers, and will be better prepared for the physicality a top SEC defensive line after being spanked and put to bed by Nick Fairley last January. The Ducks take it, 22-21 on a two-point conversion with no time remaining.

2.) Florida State will not live up to expectations, losing to Oklahoma, Florida, and in the ACC championship, to Virgina Tech. Besides buying things that they can’t afford, another habit of people is to annoint Florida teams before they should be annointed. They always have “Florida speed”, which apparently kills more often than cancer. I’m not buying E.J. Manuel, or the words that FSU is close to mid-90’s form quite yet, and a three-loss season should prove that point.

3.) UCLA coach Rick Neuheisel, in an attempt to save some of his coaching reputation, decides to get proactive, and picks up a tranvestite hooker on Santa Monica Blvd the night of October 18th, forcing the administration to fire him for that instead. Whew! Reputation saved!

4.) Andrew Luck getting mentioned as “the best college quarterback since Elway” becomes the highest trending topic on Twitter by the end of September, narrowly edging a new Harry Potter rock-opera being written by Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

5.) Landry Jones edges Andrew Luck for the Heisman, not because of numbers (both fantastic), number of victories (both a lot), or spectacular moments (slight edge to Luck, as he has the ability to throw down a defensive end by simply giving a slight tap on the shoulder, and fire a 40 yard post for a touchdown-blindfolded). It is because they both bring back their best facial hair decisions, and Jones’ 70’s porn mustache edges Luck’s lumberjack-beard look.

6.) Michigan’s Denard Robinson runs for a 112 yard touchdown against Illinois on November 12th. Robinson is so explosive, and Zook’s defense so shitty, the score keepers decide to add on 13 yards to the run, just to emphasize those points. Think of it in the manner of a Paul Bunyan tall tale.

7.) Texas rebounds with a 10-win season and BCS bowl birth. Mack Brown has the fire back, plus new, elite coordinators to lead the way. Texas is just here to kick some ass, and sell some Longhorn Network subscriptions. And, they’re all out of subscriptions.

8.) Michael Floyd makes it through an entire season injury-free. Haha, just kidding. But, he only misses a game against Air Force, and Brian Kelly puts him on a strictly milk diet (it does a body good) the rest of the way.

9.) Oregon wins the Pac-12, Oklahoma wins the Big 12, West Virginia wins the Big East, Virginia Tech wins the ACC, Wisconsin wins the B1G, and Alabama wins the SEC.

10.) The SEC pays attention to the notice sent by Oregon in week 1, and ‘Bama curbstomps Oregon in the BCS campionship, just as the NCAA sends investigators to Tuscaloosa to check out some assistant coaches, prompting Saban to exit for a postition on Wall Street, where he promises to run a “clean” investment firm.