Damn, it’s been a long time since Notre Dame was actually Notre Dame. Current high school seniors weren’t alive the last time Notre Dame won it all (actually, college juniors and seniors can say that, too). 1993 was the last time all was right in South Bend (Who would have thought Kevin McDougal would ever be the answer to a trivia question? “Who was the last Irish quarterback to be ranked #1?”). Since then, it has been Davie, Willingham, Weis, and a bunch of non-winning seasons. A bunch of wasted time in football years. The reasons for this are many (in fact, the only list greater is “Ways you can piss a woman off”), and too complicated to get involved with, so the Blarney will just bring you a random reason from time to time.

Here’s one right now:

Reason 722 (from Ivan Maisel):

“Coaches say the hardest position to recruit is the defensive line. When you add up all of the droughts Notre Dame is suffering, such as 22 years without a national championship or 17 years without winning a Jan. 1 bowl, think about this one. The Irish have had one defensive linemen taken in the first round of the NFL draft since 1994: that was Renaldo Wynn, selected by Jacksonville in 1997.”

Oh, the defensive line. You can’t win in football if you can’t stop anyone. If the SEC (where are you on the U.S. News and World Report’s best schools list?) can figure that out (SEC teams make sure to maintain an average of roughly 8 Jevon Kearse’s per team, per year), you would think Notre Dame could too.

You know what is often boring? For the most part, boring is the public comments made by public figures when asked a question. You know, when they want to “tow the company line”, or avoid controversy. Like when a big-name athlete speaks in the same old tired cliches like, “We’re just here to work hard, and play our best.” When you know they are not saying what they really think. Like when Tom Osborne won’t admit that he wished every single dollar of Texas’s Big 12 contract could be shoved up Bill Powers’ ass. Utterly disappointing.

The media asks the juicy questions. The public figures give us the “politically correct” answers. The media springs the trap, but the big-name doesn’t take the bait. That is the never-ending cycle.

Former Domer, and Denver Bronco Brady Quinn took part in this cycle recently when asked about new teammate Tim Tebow. (Or, they guy trying to take the job Brady’s job, probably ensuring that Quinn will never be a starter in the NFL.)

When asked about Tebow, Quinn said:

“I think there are a lot of schools of thought on what will end up happening with him, moving forward in his NFL career. But he’s a good, quality, character guy, and those are the type of guys you want on your team.” …

Nice, but I’m sure that’s not want Brady really thinks, or what he wanted to say. If you could get the truth about what Brady really thinks when he hears the name “Tebow”, perhaps it would go something like this:

“We all know Tim is a good Christian, but if Jesus loves everyone so much, why didn’t he give Tim a release like a real NFL quarterback?”

“Tim has the best arm of any fullback I ever saw.”

“NFL quarterback? What about presidential speech-writer?”

Yeah, that sounds more like it.

So, all of the realignment talk over the last month created one thing more than anything else-conversation. People from conference commissioners to university presidents, to head coaches, to players, to writers, and finally, to fans-all had something to say about the issue.

The thing that I got out of it most? That Notre Dame fans really don’t want the Irish to join a conference.

From my take, here are some things that Notre Dame fans would rather do than have the team join a conference:

1.) Play a game of dodgeball with Stephen Strasburg. No cups allowed!

2.) Get caught with naked pictures of Pete Carroll in their wallet. (Possibly the most disturbing sentence ever written on South Bend Blarney.)

3.) Let their teenage daughter go to prom with Lawrence Taylor.

4.) Have a FIFA official arbitrate any major disagreement that may occur in life. (We hand down the decision, and you’ll never know why!)

5.) Be a pitchman for Extenz, or any other “male enhancement”. “Soon, you’ll be able to feel it!”

6.) Live a shoe salesman’s live, a la Al Bundy.

7.) Lose to Navy 2 out of 3 years.

8.) Watching Jersey Shore-Snookie’s muffin top specifically, in 3-D.

9.) Have teeth like Idol’s Crystal Bowersox.