The day is upon us. The one day a year where everyone wants to act a little Irish (who enjoy drinking like bees enjoy honey) and even a Mormon probably feels like putting down the milk, and enjoying a beverage with some alcohol in it. St. Patty’s day. Want to take a vacation day from work to be at a bar at 6 a.m. for Kegs and Eggs? St. Patty’s Day is the day to do it. Want to see a fight break out in a bar before noon? St. Patty’s Day is the day to do it. Want to find out the only purpose for green food coloring? St. Patty’s day is the day to do it. Yes sir, everyone is a little Irish on this day.

In honor of this great drinking day, here are some drinking stories done right (to go along with last year’s), to remind us that any day can be a St. Patty’s-like day of outrageous alcohol consumption.

The Stories (Elements may range from completely true, to slight exaggeration, to blatantly false, they are stories, after all):

The Real Rudy Story

Did you know that the greatest walk-on moment in history never happened? Daniel “Rudy” Ruettiger only saw the field because some Jameson Whiskey got slipped into Dan Devine’s water bottle (courtesy of Rudy supporter Merv Johnson). “Hell, that scrawny kid was never supposed to see the field. I was trying to get the seniors some playing time, but my head started spinning all of a sudden, and I couldn’t see straight. In a mix of players, I somehow grabbed this 5′ nothin, 100 and nothin’ kid by the helmet, and told him to play DE. It was only when he lined up that I noticed it was Ruettiger, and well, you know the rest.”

Keyboardist Duffy From Primal Scream (From AOL Music)

“Primal Scream’s keyboard player is the kind of man to shrug off most nights on the sauce. But in 1993, on a night out in New York, Duffy and fellow Screamer Robert Young ended the night at a New York bar. Duffy collapsed, drunk, at a table. Sometime later the barman pointed out to Young his companion was bleeding. Duffy had in fact been stabbed in the torso – but had no recollection as to how, or why, it had happened.”

Maybe The Best Collection Of Drinking Stories Ever (From A Man Who Scared A Shark To Death, And Other Tales Of Drunken Debauchery)
“A British comedian, on a drunken bet, once jumped into a shark tank naked, causing a shark to die from the stress of the incident.” Hey, I would suspect that the British look bad enough naked to kill someone-and it turns out to be true.

Don’t Be Courteous While Drinking (From SofaKingDrunk.com)

A disabled man on a scooter decided to give a friend a lift in downtown Darlington (Britain). The only problem was that he was 3 times over the legal drinking limit. Security cameras spotted him, and since scooters aren’t technically cars, they charged him under an obscure Victorian law pertaining to carriages.

After taking the time to read these, perhaps the best thing to remember is that as long as there are people and alcohol, more great stories are sure to follow!