Axl’s advice on how to do without college football:

Patience

Then again, what does Axl know?

He’s been afraid of his own shadow for twenty years (what a pussy), and he ‘effed things up with Stephanie Seymour back in the day (idiot, because he never upgraded).

C’mon, I want to see what Brian Kelly can do for the Irish-like yesterday!

Notre Dame stud receiver Michael Floyd may be the best receiver in college football-but he is also a criminal of the highest level. Al Capone had nothing on this guy. With antics like doing a few shots while underage, and getting into a scrap, Floyd has showed that he is nothing but a problem child. ND will respond accordingly, and drop the hammer (probably suspending him a game or two), because playing hardball is the only way to deal with the bottom-feeders of society.

Just to demonstrate how Notre Dame’s decision will fit the crime, the Blarney has decided to bring you the top 10 crimes of the notorious Mike Floyd’s young life-a laundry list to show why this renegade behavior must be stopped.

8.) At age 5, he stole a piece of Bazooka Joe from the Barber Shop.

7.) Throughout high school, he downloaded songs on his iPod for free (copyrighted material be damned).

6.) Jaywalking. Numerous indiscretions.

5.) Just two weeks ago, while still in South Bend, he watched Avatar only 3 hours after eating some garlic mashed potatoes.

4.) At age 10, he found an old issue of Playboy (Jenny McCarthy PMOY issue), and kept it for months (viewing it often).

3.) While in Los Angeles (away game against USC in 2008-though he did not play), Floyd peeled an orange in his hotel room.

2.) At age 17, while driving home from Cretin-Derham, he did not come to a complete stop before turning right onto Clover St.

1.) He re-moved the tag off of a mattress at the local Original Mattress Factory. (He thought it was an illegal act for a consumer, so we included it due to intent.)

A good buddy sent me a sort of “picture book” explaining the downfall of Notre Dame. And, since “pictures are worth a thousand words”, and I learned that only acting how I want to isn’t all its cracked up to be with a children’s picture book, I thought I would present this post in the same simple, easy to comprehend way, and see what you all think.

Do the pictures tell us all we need to know as to why Notre Dame hasn’t been getting the best players?

TIM TEBOW

JIMMY CLAUSEN