Things are going so bad for the Irish that their star quarterback and future 1st Round NFL Draft choice can’t even enjoy an evening having a cold one with his family at a local watering hole.

After the loss to UConn last Saturday, Jimmy Clausen got punched at South Bend’s C.J.’s Pub. Not exactly the kind of thing you expect to happen to a Domer. The most likely scenario is that this was started by a drunken fan who took exception to the team’s performance/Charlie Weis’s tenure-and it got ugly.

But, the Blarney has 5 suspects that are also highly likely:

1.) LeGarrette Blount. The Oregon running back is a serial-puncher who likes nothing more than to send a flying fist toward some innocent’s direction. That’s just how he plays the game. He has been low key since his self-destruction at Boise State to start the season, but the urge is never far from the surface for this Tyson-wannabe, and a golden boy quarterback’s eye socket is prime real estate. And with this world being smaller than ever-there was a chance he was in South Bend that night (who doesn’t love drinking at C.J.’s?).

2.) Debo. Jimmy comes from a well-to-do family, and this “scourge of people’s belongings” may have wanted a new Guru Geneo bicycle to get around town-and thought he could take one from Clausen. Plus, somebody has to keep Chris Tucker employed by knocking people out so Tucker can go around and shout “You got knocked the f— out!” (He has that saying trademarked, and these entrepreneurs set up a website of “You got knocked the f— out!” moments, the people watch, and the advertisers pay up.)

3.) Rocky. Don’t blame him. I defy you to listen to “Eye Of The Tiger” every day, for 27 years straight, to get pumped up for your next boxing match, and control that accompanying adrenaline rush to the point where you don’t feel like punching someone in the face. Especially a Notre Dame quarterback who is so not working class like you.

4.) Oscar The Grouch. Word is that he lives in a trash can outside of C.J.’s. And if you lived in a trash can, you might fell like punching someone too.

5.) Adam Lambert. Took out his rage for having his gayness censored on Clausen. It was like a train that Jimmy was just unfortunate enough to be in front of.