So… every Notre Dame game this season will be decided in the final 30 seconds, and by less than a touchdown. Why win easy when you can add some drama to it (sponsors that get the late ad spots thank you)? And, has an Irish fan been able to sit down during the 4th quarter at all during the last 3 games? Since Charlie Weis and Co. thought they should take it upon themselves to get ND fans’ hearts pumping to seriously dangerous levels, South Bend Blarney thought it would find 5 dangerous activities for a heart still safer than watching Notre Dame football:

5.) Taking grandpa to a strip club. He’s old and his blood pressure is high. He spends his life in the rocking chair, so any stimulation outside of that gets his heart pumping. He hasn’t seen a young, beautiful naked woman since 1972. So, what do you think will happen to him when you give him a buck and sit him by the stage?

4.) Finding out you first girl’s dad is country singer Rodney Atkins. “I’m just sittin’ here cleanin’ this gun…

3.) Starting your first day as a driving instructor, and your first student is a 15 year old girl. First she’ll say “hello”, then you’ll hear a crash, and a “my bad!”.

2.) Drag racing with Nick Hogan (yeah, the Hulkster’s son). I hate to say this, but it would be better to stay home and watch the awful “Fast And Furious” movies.

1.) Being Morgan Spurlock inSuper Size Me. McDonald’s anyone?