POWER. STRENGTH. You know you want it. (Always remember, chicks dig the long ball.) Nothing stirs the imagination quite like witnessing a “how in the hell did they do that?” Herculean feat of might. One that leaves your jaw dropped, your brain confounded, and your ego inspired. You see what can be, the very best in achievement, and you begin to wonder just exactly what you might be capable of. It’s why Guinness World Records is the best-selling series of all time since its conception in 1954. It’s why guys strive to reach the peak of human physiological limits by substituting tomato juice for human growth hormone and synthetic testosterone. And it’s why South Bend Blarney has decided to find 5 feats of strength that we can’t believe:

5.) A Shaolin Monk’s mind over matter. The Kung Fu-fighting style, and ability to focus the mind among Shaolin Monks is legendary. Due to an increased interest in fighting styles of the world (and the knowledge-packed Discovery channel), I was fortunate enough to witness a special on the Shaolin Monks. I saw a monk lay flat on on a bed made of spears (held vertically by other monks below him). His body weight, plus gravity, plus sharp object, should have impaled him. However, the monk’s skin was not even pierced, and he didn’t even bother to show one ounce of pain on his face. Beside that, another monk bent a piece of steel simply by striking it over his head (Try it, I dare you.)

4.) John Evans. In May of 1999, Evans set a world record by balancing a 350lb “mini” car on his head. That’s right, his 24″ neck is strong enough to kick your ass, and take your girl.

3.) Steven Petrosino. In 1977, this guy drank 500ml of beer in .4 seconds. Yep, that’s 16 oz of beer in roughly the time it takes Google to pull up search results for “boobs”.

2.) Wilt Chamberlain sleeps with 20,000 women. Oh, the endurance! People have done the math, and concluded that means he would have had to have slept with one new women a day since he was 15 (using averages). Given that Wilt did believe in foreplay, it is believable that each “sexcapade” lasted at least an hour. The strain on his muscles over his lifetime must have been an unbelievable amount. Talk about testing human limits.

1.) Braxston Cave benches 520lbs. Notre Dame sophomore guard Braxston Cave has redefined “brute strength” with a whopping 520lb bench press achieved during his off season training. He may possess the strongest upper-body in Notre Dame history, and has “transformed” himself in the eyes of Charlie Weis. That it was done under the much-maligned Ruben Mendoza’s conditioning program has to be encouraging for Irish fans-and their faith in player development.